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關(guān)于自由的英語(yǔ)作文：I’m Dreaming of freedom
關(guān)于自由的英語(yǔ)作文：I’m Dreaming of freedom
本期點(diǎn)評(píng)專(zhuān)家：
趙秀鳳，中國(guó)石油大學(xué)外國(guó)語(yǔ)學(xué)院教授、博士，全國(guó)英語(yǔ)創(chuàng)新大賽顧問(wèn)委員會(huì)副主任，第十屆、第十—屆全國(guó)創(chuàng)新英語(yǔ)大賽評(píng)螽
參賽佳作
姓名：俞冰潔
學(xué)校：江蘇省常熟市中學(xué)
成績(jī)：96.5
I’m Dreaming of freedom
Dear mother
Mum, do you still remember what animalllike best? It’s tiger.I like its arrogance and mi-ghtiness. Its power seems to control everything.L21However, many beings are thus hurt by itsforceL31. Therefore,I do hate it if my mother islike a tiger.
In the past 18 years,I have always beenliving at the mercy of you. You are always for-mulating a large number of strict rules. Forexample, you would forbid me to attend asleepover or have a play date.I can follow thesebecauseI understand your worryi about mysafety and health. Yet sometimes I can’t standsuch bans as choosing my own extracurricularactivities. Instead, you often tell me ‘you lieupon thorns when old.’But have you everthought that freedom is also a treasure for me?Have you ever known that a teenager has his orher voice as well? Have you ever wondered whatI am really tlunking about all the time?
When other children are playing games, Iam playing the piano. When other children arewatching TV, I am doiing homework. When other children are performing in a school play, Iam reading books to prepare for the exams. Sometimes I would consider giving up whenl amnearly tired out. In my mind comes the voice:Only those who could achieve good gradescan laugh the best! Although I can always get a good mark, I am not a bit happy.
Mum, I am desperate for some freedom.If you don´t have faith in me, you can give meonly one-month of freedom to arrange my study and life on my own. I promise I will try my bestto maintain my balance between playing andstudying. I simply don’t want to say ‘my largestpity is not having a happy periodL91 in my highschool life.’when I am old. The greatest love is to let go instead of controlling. Please lendme a pair of wings to help me fly higher, furtherand more freely.
Lovely yours
Your daughter
專(zhuān)家點(diǎn)評(píng)：
同樣是寫(xiě)給媽媽的信，本文作者用敘說(shuō)的方式表達(dá)了對(duì)"tiger trauung’的反對(duì)，以及對(duì)自由的渴望。文章以自己喜愛(ài)的動(dòng)物作為開(kāi)頭，自然而然地道出自己對(duì)“虎媽”教育的不滿。正文先用簡(jiǎn)單的字句和事例描述了媽媽的嚴(yán)格教育；接著以三個(gè)排比問(wèn)句過(guò)渡，說(shuō)出自己內(nèi)心的聲音；以祈使句結(jié)尾，強(qiáng)烈表達(dá)對(duì)自由的向往。通篇結(jié)構(gòu)簡(jiǎn)潔，過(guò)渡明顯，長(zhǎng)短句錯(cuò)落有致，但是要注意個(gè)別單詞、詞組的用法。
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